A healthy relationship is supposed to be one where both parties are in tune with one another, and there’s a certain level of trust on each side.
With insecurity, none of these are possible. A lot of people are emotionally insecure and it has ruined or is ruining their relationships, even marriages.
Some of them go as far as asking their friends to go and ‘test’ their partners. Totally unnecessary, but they do it. And then, when the tested partner fails the test, they begin to blame everyone but themselves.
When there’s insecurity in a relationship, it saps the other person emotionally. Like a parasite, it keeps taking and taking, without giving. The person gets accused of different wrongs ranging from being unfaithful to selfish. The insecure one gets clingy and jealous for no reason. If their partner doesn’t answer the phone on first ring, it is because they are with someone else. If their partner has a busier day than usual, it is because they went on a date with another person. They stalk their partners’ exes and suspect even said partner’s friends of the opposite sex.
All of these ultimately leads to friction, arguments, fights and counter accusations, with the accused person getting tired one day and moving on, or in some cases, the both parties remaining in a relationship which has neither love nor trust anymore. And that isn’t a relationship anymore, but a situationship.
Now, thankfully, insecurity is a vice that can be done away with for good. But first, the person has got to love themselves. When you love yourself, nothing would make you think that you’re not good enough for anyone else.
Even though relationships bond people together, everyone needs their space once in a while. That doesn’t mean that they are cheating or not in love with you anymore.
Learn to trust. Even if you can’t do that completely, try to a reasonable extent. It doesn’t make sense being with someone whom you don’t trust. How would you believe what they say?
Give room for benefit of the doubt. If you don’t have proof, don’t go accusing the other person of something, based on mere suspicion.
Communication is also very important. If you feel a certain way, instead of railing and accusing, ask questions and talk about how you feel. This also helps with knowing where you stand with the person.
Bottomline is, being insecure in a relationship does nothing but hurt you and affect your relationship in the end.