In a world where people live to fit into societal standards, finding oneself is not an easy task. It’ll take much work to get to know the real you. But if you’re really serious about getting more than acquainted with yourself, then the battle already is won before it begins.
To discover self, you have to relieve your past experiences and mistakes. You might want to put them down on paper. Everything that has happened to you came with a lesson to learn, whether good or bad. Incidents shape people’s perspective and make them see things from different angles. Write down such and how they impacted or affected your life. This is the time to look at everything you’ve been told; critically, unlearn some of them and begin to relearn. It is impossible for everything you’d ever known to be binding and hundred percent accurate.
At this point, you’d have to let go of certain people in your life. Having gotten rid of some ideologies you used to have, not everyone would be comfortable around the new you. That is why they would have to go. Self discovery is about you, not about pleasing others. You can’t make everyone happy, it is just not possible. And if you keep peeling away layers of your identity to fit in or be accepted, it’ll be only a matter of time before you whittle away.
Asking yourself questions is important in this journey. Here, you need solitude; alone time, without distractions. You want to know who you really are. What kind of character you have, and not what people think you are. What you want out of life. Things you regret doing and what you’ve learnt from them. Things you’d regret not doing, and plans on how to do them. You want to travel? Then, why not? You are tired of your job, because you want to go after what you’re passionate about? What are you waiting for? Your parents and family might get disappointed, but it’s your life not theirs. It’s your dream to live.
Practice self reliance and get rid of the need to be loved by everyone. No matter how nice you think you are, there would always be people who would see you as a bad person. Build up your confidence and depend on yourself. Carve out your own path and follow it. Help those you meet along that path and do what makes you happy. All these fads, fashion and stereotypes were made by others. You might be called a non-conformist, but that’s better than living a lie. You want to find yourself, then be yourself.
You should seriously think of ways to break those bad habits. Truth is, they might not seem like much of a big deal but these things prevent you from working at your optimal capacity. Address your demons and face your skeletons. Hiding them in the deepest recesses of your mind means that you’re not ready to move forward, because you’ll keep meeting them and they will keep dragging you back to the past.
Now that you’ve gotten all of this knowledge, keep pushing yourself and be the best person that you can. Nobody loves you more than you choose to love yourself.