Marriage is a joining of two people; a union which they go into, hoping that it lasts forever. Most marriages end in divorce because of marital problems. There is a plethora of problems in a marriage that can lead to its breakdown or dissolution. This is not strange as people who get married are always individuals from different backgrounds, who do not have the same outlook to things.
Problems in marriages range from mild ones to very serious issues. When solutions to these marriage problems are sought early enough, they can be fixed. However, in the event that marital problems are allowed to get out of hand, irreconcilable differences could result.
The key to finding solutions to any problem, is identifying the problem first and demystifying it. That way, you can tackle it effectively. Thus, take a look at these ten common marriage problems. In identifying them, you will be better equipped to take care of them before they escalate.
1. Difference in values or beliefs: This marital problem is prevalent among couples from different cultures. It can also be seen among couples with different religious beliefs.
There is nothing wrong with having different values but when the core values are involved and there is no compromise, then, these differences become a problem. For instance, couples can go to different places of worship and it will not cause a problem if they both understand that it is okay.
2. Stress: Stress is one of the top five causes of problems in a marriage. This is because every living human goes through stress at some point and not just once. In marriages, stress can come from the workplace, from family members or even due to lack of finances. How stress is managed can either cause calm or result to more stressful situations in the marriage.
3. Communication problems: Human beings are social animals. To carry on daily, people need to interact and express themselves. For couples, communication is extremely important. Unfortunately, some couples do not seem to realize this, and issues arise because they stop keeping each other in the loop. A lot of issues can be avoided by communicating; everyone needs to know this.
4. Technology: This is a common problem in marriage that was not common ten years ago. Mobile phones and social media changed all that. Now, couples can live in the same house and still feel apart from each other. People get so fixated on their phones that they find physical bonding and face-to-face conversations boring.
5. Anger Issues: It is not strange to hear about marriages that crumbled due to one party’s anger problems. This very common marital problem can be as minor as shouting or as major as domestic violence. Thing is, whether minor or major, anger should not make residence in a marriage where the couple wants to live together forever.
6. Lies: If you cannot tell your partner the truth, who then can you be honest with? Lies birth more lies and, in the end, gets uncovered. When someone finds out that their partner lied to them about something, they might find it hard to trust them again. No marriage can survive without trust.
7. Lack of appreciation: He who is thanked for little things, will be pushed to do big things. Women are especially guilty of not showing appreciation because they mostly place value on price of gifts and not intent.
This marital problem is very common and if it is not nipped in the bud, it can lead to greater issues. No matter how small a gift is, it is only right to appreciate the fact that the person thought of you.
8. Lack of attention: This common problem in marriages has even become more common because of a problem mentioned above; technology. Being constantly distracted by external things can prevent you from being sensitive to your partner’s needs.
One consequence of lack of attention is infidelity; the partner on the receiving end may likely go into someone else’s arms for comfort. As a result, the sanctity of the marriage will be compromised, leading to toxicity, bitterness and blame games.
9. Boredom: The fun in being with someone else should not stop after marriage. During courtship, there are always fun activities to engage in and new things to try. But then, many couples get married and forget how they used to do interesting things while they were still dating. True, with marriage comes responsibilities. But those responsibilities should not be so much that couples should not go on dates, plan vacations or visit fun places together. Like lack of attention, boredom can cause people to start looking outside for someone else to light up their boring lives – thus, causing more issues than solving any.
10. Insecurity: Men are more guilty of this than women, both in relationships and marriages. When a man wants to do something or take on a big project, his woman is usually always by his side, cheering him on and encouraging him. But when the tables are turned, many men feel threatened that their wives will become more successful than them. They begin acting out or throwing spanners in their partner’s wheels of progress. Before long, their marriage becomes a power tussle of who wears the pants in the marriage. Of course, it is only a matter of time before a wife at the short stick of such a situation revolts or walks out of the marriage.
It goes without saying that every union is unique in its own way. In other words, there is no one-size-fits-all approach to fix problems in marriages. Couples should handle their marital problems as they see fit. However, this article has hopefully opened your eyes to look out for these common marriage problems or to identify them if they already exist and take care of them for the longevity of your marriage.
Nobody goes into marriage with the intention of being a divorcee. But then, to avoid being one, each party has to put in work and eliminate factors that can lead to marital problems, before they arise.